This story is patterned after Twain's "The War Prayer", a short, satirical piece about war and the questionable patriotic and religious motives behind it. I titled it "Bounteous Blessings." Hope you enjoy.
It was obvious to everyone in the small town of Walnut, Iowa that this year’s Independence Day was going to be special. For reasons that no one could quite explain, every one of Walnut’s faithful citizens felt a heightened sense of patriotism as they readied their houses for the celebration. Flags were unfurled and banners hung, and at any one moment it was perfectly probable to hear someone humming a line from “America the Beautiful.” The smiles and laughter were contagious. The older generation was delighted to see their neighbors publicly celebrating the country they loved: “We’ve needed a revival of patriotism,” they said knowingly, and the mothers and fathers of Walnut nodded amicably in agreement.
“It’s true,” said Mrs. Abigail Smith, a plump, sweet house maker and mother of four, “I’ve been saying that for quite some time.”
“Yes, yes,” chimed her equally portly neighbors, “we must remember our noble heritage, and our many blessings.”
“And especially here in Walnut,” Mrs. Smith replied, reaching for yet another slice of pumpkin pie, “Even with the country in shambles- the unemployment, and the recession and all…we have been blessed here, very blessed.”
And she was right—Walnut had done remarkably well despite unemployment being at an all-time high across the country. People continued to work their little jobs, and the local government had quite ingeniously put into play an advertising campaign to attract tourists to see the quaint houses of Walnut’s Historic District. It seemed that with the economic recession, many people had decided that rather than go on extravagant, faraway vacations, they could go somewhere close and familiar; Walnut fit the criteria perfectly. With several small restaurants and Bed and Breakfasts busily functioning throughout the city, Walnut saw economic growth and even prosperity. So yes, they had been blessed, very blessed.
If the citizens of the town could not look around and see the evidence of their being very blessed, they were at least reminded of it as they went to church each Sunday and listened to the preacher’s powerful sermons. (Of course, not everyone went to church, but the good Christian folk did, and they made up the majority of the town’s populace). The preacher loved to remind his congregation that they were very fortunate to live in America, and, more specifically, to be living in the beautiful corner of Earth called Walnut, Iowa, which “God himself continues to smile upon.” His favorite phrase was “bounteous blessings,” and to further emphasize how blessed they were, the preacher also liked to mention how so much of the world suffered from hunger and poverty and a host of other miserable afflictions. “Those poor people,” the members murmured amidst the pews, “if only God could smile on them as well.” If only, if only…It was easy to relate to his eloquent words because each member of the audience felt the truth of them as they drove their new cars, ate their large suppers, and stared at their oversized television screens.
When the Fourth of July finally arrived, it brought with it an exquisite sunrise, and those who were awake to witness the sublime scene couldn’t help but interpret it as a symbol of God’s approving eye on their lovely town. The mothers of Walnut busily prepared sumptuous morning meals for their families, and the fathers of the town read newspapers and gradually coaxed their children out of their comfortable beds. As the morning progressed, people began filing onto the sidewalks of Main Street and laid out their blankets and lawn chairs for the Grand Parade. It was a Walnut tradition that on every Fourth of July, at exactly 11 am, the Walnut Independence Day Grand Parade began with the stroke of the city hall bell. Every year, there were a number of impressive floats, but the floats this year were extraordinary to say the least. Every one commented that it was the best parade in recent memory.
At the conclusion of the parade, the crowd took the short walk over to the city park where a number of large white tables and chairs had been set up on the baseball diamond. The hour of the annual “Fourth Feast” had arrived. This celebration of their bounteous blessings featured, among other American delicacies, gigantic cheeseburgers, foot long hotdogs, piles of hot French fries, rows of assorted pies, and gallons of iced sodas. It was a glorious affair, and everyone ate until they were quite full (“We have so much extra food and it would be a shame to waste it,” Mrs. A. Smith had declared, while reaching for yet another fistful of fries.)
As they finished their last slice of apple or chocolate cream pie, a podium was placed in front of the tables. It was now time for the Mayor’s speech. Although many felt the familiar tug of that sweet sleep that follows a hardy gorging, all were eager to see what their wise leader had to say.“Good afternoon, and Happy Fourth of July!” the Mayor said to a thunderous round of applause. “It’s a beautiful day isn’t it? How lucky we are to be here in America, how lucky to live in this beautiful town!”
The mayor continued, and spoke a great deal about the freedom and the liberty they shared as citizens of America, and yet again reminded them how blessed they were to live in Walnut. “How fortunate we are to have food at our tables,” he said, “and that we never go hungry.” After a few patriotic quotes from very patriotic people, he concluded with a rousing “Here’s to another great year! God bless America!” It was a perfect ending note, but suddenly, in the split second after the mayor’s final word was spoken and before the audience had a chance to begin their applause, all the tradition that Walnut had grown so accustomed to was shattered.
“WAIT! WAIT!” a tall man shouted loudly and urgently from behind the mass of people. A stunned silence settled over the group, as automatically every head turned in the direction of the unwelcomed voice. “I have something to say, something important. Stop and look around. Look at your plates, look at the remaining food—look at yourselves! Parents look at your children, your young children who suffer at your hands. Is nothing wrong with this scene? Does nobody see what I see? Does nobody see where we are heading?
“We are killing ourselves! We are living gluttonous lives and no one seems to see or care how fat and lazy we have become. We eat and eat as if that’s the only important thing in the whole world. The mayor said that we are blessed to never go hungry, but this doesn’t mean that we have to eat a meal between lunch and dinner just because we feel a tinge of hunger! We raise our children on horrible, fake, and fattened food and then we wonder how they’ve come to be so heavy. Is it really a mystery? Obesity is rampant here, and only on the rise! We are all to blame for this, and steps must be taken now to correct it—before it’s too late! We need to cut back! We need to eat less and do more! The future of America depends on it! Thank you and Happy Fourth of July!”
With that, the mysterious prophet turned and ran swiftly away from the bloated crowd. For a few minutes nothing was said, but eventually many people began discussing the preposterous things that had been spoken by the outspoken stranger.
“What an awful guy,” it was said. “What kind of mean-spirited, unpatriotic person would want to disrupt a perfectly good Independence Day celebration?”
After some discussion, it was clear to the people of Walnut that the “awful guy” was not entirely a reliable source for dietary habits- a few of the people near the back of the audience noted that the man staggered slightly as he ran away, and one woman even commented that she had smelt alcohol on his breath.
The day ended, weeks passed, and July and then summer came to a peaceful end. The townsfolk continued in their little ways, content with their happy lives and their pleasantly large meals. And they never did go hungry.